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Louis entered the hospital room, carefully shutting the door behind him. It was dark and cold, though the summer sun shone through the window. It mocked him with it’s happiness.

Shut the door, turn the lights off.

He made his way slowly to the only bed in the room. A small figure lay on it, sleeping. Her face that was once sun-kissed and tan, was now pale with purple beneath her eyes. Her body that was once athletic and tones was now nothing more than skin and bones. And on her head where there was once a thick black mane of hair, was now nothing but shining skin.

Louis hesitated as he stood by her bed, but made the decision to sit down in the uncomfortable visitors chair which by now had become a second bed to him.

I wanna lay beside you, I wanna feel your love.

Looking at her face, he tried his hardest to keep himself from crying. He had to stay strong. Not for him, but for her. 

I cannot hide this, even though I’ve tried.

She looked so beautiful to him. Her breathing was heavy, but peaceful.

Heart beats harder, time escapes me.

He reached forward, slowly grazing her hand with his own. His hands shook, until he finally rested them on top of her cold and bony ones. 

Trembling hands touch skin, it makes this harder.

Feeling her hands so cold, almost lifeless, he felt himself breakdown. A layer of water formed over his eyes, and when he blinked they fell quickly.

And the tears stream, down my face.

They were running out of time. He didn’t need a doctor to tell him. He didn’t need to read it in a statistic or pamphlet. He just knew.

If we could only have this life for one more day.

He brought her hands up to his lips, gently kissing them. His eyes closed, and his mind began to race.

If we could only turn back time.

“Excuse me?” Louis heard, turning around to see the face of the voice who had spoken to him. He was caught off guard by how beautiful she was. Her dark hair was flowing in the chilly winter wind, but a huge smile presented her white and straight teeth.

“How do you get to the closest Milkshake City? This is my first time in England, I’m not quite used to it.” She said, adding on a small giggle.

“I could show you if you’d like.” Louis replied, grinning back at her and unable to take his eyes from hers.

“Sure I’d love that. I’m Anna, by the way.”

You know I’ll be you’re voice, you’re life, you’re reason to be my love.

“You may now kiss the bride.” He barely heard the priest say before pressing his lips upon Anna’s. His beautiful wife. His.

My heart is breathing for this moment in time.

“The results have come back.” The doctor said, and right then Louis knew. His head immediately fell into his lap.

“Leukemia.” was the only word that the doctor spoke that he managed to hear.

A small and gentle hand began rubbing his back, running a warmth throughout his cold body, and he looked up at Anna. She was so much stronger than him. He promised himself at that moment he would do everything in his possible power to keep her alive.

I’ll find the words to say.

A small beeping noise brought him back to reality. A doctor and a few nurses entered the room.

“I’m sorry Mr. Tomlinson. We have some tests to run. The big day is tomorrow, she is getting her surgery! Go home and rest, you will need it.”

Louis sighed, wiping his sticky tear stained face. He nodded and stood up, kissing Anna on the cheek.

“Goodbye love.”

Before you leave me today.

As he got into his flat, he tossed his keys into the living room, not caring if they landed on the couch or not. He went straight to his room, sat on the bed, and sighed.

Close the door, throw the key.

He looked at his walls, covered in photo’s of himself and Anna. For some reason, he couldn’t look at them.

Don’t wanna be reminded, don’t wanna be seen.

It was almost three in the morning before he shut the light off and lay in bed.

He lay on the same side he had slept on for the entire four years of their marriage. Louis stretched his arm out, expecting for it to wrap perfectly around Anna’s body like a puzzle piece. But instead, he heard the soft thud of the mattress.

“Goodnight, my love.”

Don’t wanna be without you.

It was a few hours later when he got the call. He rushed around his house, not bothering to change, and getting into the car. The sun had risen already. He looked at the red blinking numbers in his car. Nine, which meant Anna had gone into surgery already. It was foggy out, and a light rain hit the car. It was calm outside the car, the opposite of what Louis felt inside of it. He felt mocked once again. The rain hit the window creating a song, and keeping the thoughts from entering his mind. 

My judgments cloudy, like tonight’s sky.

He entered the hospital, running up to the woman at the desk.

“Where is she?” He asked, panic escaping his lips and echoing off the barren tile walls of the hospital.

“Mr. Tomlinson please sit-”

“Where is she!? That’s my wife!” He was yelling now, hot tears on his face.

“There has been a complication with her surgery. Please sit.” She spoke softly, her pain for him loudly heard.

Louis obliged, sitting down in the waiting room. 

Hands are silent, voices numb.

Louis stood up, pacing around the cold room. The white walls nerved him. Sweat covered his face and chest.

Try to scream out my lungs, it makes this harder.

Sitting down once again, he covered his face with his hands. Surprised by how numb he felt, tears fell from his eyes and he made no effort to wipe them away.

And the tears stream down my face.

Louis heard footsteps coming from down the hallway and immediately lifted his head up. The footsteps were so quiet, but to him they sounded so loud. He stood up as the doctor approached him.

“How is she?” Louis asked, having to clear his throat mid-sentence in order for the words to come out.

“We have some very, very sad news.” The doctor said, and Louis observed how she refused to look him in the eyes.

“No please..” Louis said, his eyes narrowing and filling, searching for an answer.

If we could only have this life for one more day.

“Mr. Tomlinson, I am so sorry. We tried everything we possibly could.” She said, placing a hand on his shoulder. Chills erupted his body, making their way down his spine and reaching his legs. He couldn’t breathe. His legs that were usually very strong, collapsed beneath him and he fell to the ground. His chest heaved, thrashing back and forth.

“Please don’t tell me she’s gone. Please, I can’t..I can’t live without her.” His mouth was barely strong enough to form the words but he spoke whatever came out. 

If we could only turn back time.

Louis wasn’t sure where we was driving too or why, but it was dark out now. The rain had done the opposite of subside, mocking him for the third time. It poured on his car, and the harsh sounds matched the thoughts in his mind.

“It should have been me.”

Cars flashed by him, the lights reflecting off of the pools of water on the sides of the road. He wasn’t sure if his fogged vision was because of the rain, or the tears in his eyes. A cinema of memories played in his mind, memories flashing back and forth. Her face. It was all he could see.

Flashing lights in my mind, going back to a time.

He reached a bridge in the middle of nowhere. No cars drove by anymore. He had no idea what time it was, or where he was. He didn’t care.

His car screeched to a stop, sliding somewhat in the slicked road. He got out of the car, shutting the door. He didn’t bother to take his keys out.

Soaking wet, he reached the edge of the bridge. His shaggy bangs were stuck to his forehead, but he kept them there.

There’s a numb in my toes, standing close to the edge.

His heart pounded, and the sound of his sobs echoed in the empty area around him. 

“I love you, forever.” His voice was nervous and shaky. He almost turned around before he felt a warm, soft hand on his back. It moved slowly to his arm, taking a light hold of it. He looked next to him to see that no one was there. 

When he jumped, he didn’t let go of the hand he knew was there.

As I feel myself fall, make a joke of it all.

(Source: leodicpario, via leodicpario)